The most important thing you are NOT doing

What did you forget to do today? Turned off the stove…check. Locked the door…check. Completed your assignments at work…check. Laundry…check. Taking time out to care for yourself…hmm.

With the multitude of roles and responsibilities we all try to juggle it is often inevitable that something will remain on our infinite to do list at the end of the day. More often that not, that forgotten or neglected item is our own self care. We care for our children, our homes, our spouses, our aging parents, but not for ourselves. The result is alarming, and documented. Read on…

Did you know that studies consistently find that caregivers demonstrate significantly higher rates of depressive symptoms than thier non-caregiving peers? Or that individuals between the ages of 66 and 96 who were caring for thier spouses, and who report caregiving-related stress have a 63% higher mortality rate than noncaregivers of the same age?

I do not share these statistics to be gloomy or alarmist, but to underscore the importance of caring for yourself…NOW.

You would not ignore medical advice and research in regards to caring for your loved one, so why ignore it in regards to caring for yourself?

It is not selfish, it is not trivial and it is not just about you. It is about physical health, it is based on scientifc findings and it has a direct impact on the loved ones around you, particularly those in your care.

So start small, put yourself back on your to do list today. Can you be bold enough to put yourself on the top of that to do list?

Here are some suggestions for small steps in the right directions. Make time for three deep breaths to start and end each day, or three minutes to listen to a favorite song. Then try for ten minutes of peace and quiet while you sip a cup of tea or maybe even a glass of wine. Build up to a half hour spent soaking in the tub or poring over a good book.

Where to find these nuggets of time? Be creative! Put your favorite song on a CD and take an extra spin around the block before heading straight home from work or errands. Find a quiet spot to sit on your lunch break to decompress. Use that time in the checkout line to take a few deep breaths and think of three things you are grateful for (I will admit I am still working on that one about the checkout line). The minutes are there for the taking. Take them, and TAKE CARE!

Visit www.drawingonstrengths.com for more tips, articles, blog posts and strategies on using art and creativity to make you a more connected, creative and capable caregiver

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What happened to Einstein’s brain…and what does it have to do with you?

I recently heard a fascinating story about Einstein’s brain that surprisingly tied into art therapy. Turns out, after the famous scientist died, the doctor who performed the autopsy took the brain home with him. He felt that the brain should be studied by scientists for clues as to Einstein’s genius. After several twists and turn, portions of Einstein’s brain did indeed wind up in the hands of researchers who discovered that his brain tisse contained abnormally high numbers of glial cells, in particular, a type of glial cells known as astrocytes. Now, here is where my ears really perked up…this abundance of cells was present in the areas of the brain responsible for “complex thinking and imagery”.

So, that got me thinking. First of all, sounds like complex thinking and imagery are neighbors as far as the geography of our brain is concerned. Secondly, if Einstein had an overabundance of astrocytes in this area, could his genius have utilized not only complex thinking but also a gift for using imagery? Einstein is quoted as saying that “No problem can be solved on the same level of consciousness that created it”. For me this recalls another famous scientist, James Watson. Watson and his partner Crick were seeking to uncover the structure of DNA and were stymied. Then, Watson had a dream of an image of two intertwined snakes, which led him to the now familar image of the DNA double helix. His dream, a different level of consciousness, had presented him with an image that was exactly what he needed to conceptualize a problem that his conscious mind had been laboring over.

So what does this have to do with us? Well, it seems to me that if complex thinking and imagery go together in our brains, they might go together in practice also. Art therapists are keenly aware of the ability of art to communicate complex feelings, thoughts and emotions. One of the reasons art is a powerful modality in therapy is because of this ability to crystallize the complex, to become an active form of problem solving.

Furthermore, if problems cannot be solved on the level of consciousness that created them, then art is the way to move from one level of thinking to another. Working with images moves us from verbal and linear thinking to a non-verbal, non-linear and more intuitive way of thinking. New perceptions and perspectives on problems may very well present themselves if we can just be open and accessible to them and invite them in. Really invite them in. Not by sitting in a chair and ruminating, not by self talk that puts pressure on us to fix or solve something. None of these approaches is open or inviting, neither of them changes our point of view or allows for a free flow of ideas. Rather, try putting aside words and giving up on trying to force solutions. Find, or make, the time and space to spend several minutes working on a collage. Scour magazines, even old photos, for images thatspeak to you. Don’t engage in lots of self-censoring or analyzing what images you select and why. Use these images to create a collage related to some aspect of your current problem. Then, sit back and take a look, maybe for a few minutes, maybe revisiting it several times. You might be surprised at what you see.

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Making the shift

Welcome to “Speaking of Strength”, a place where people living with dementia, and the people who love them, can come for inspiration, information and interaction.

I am putting my money where my mouth is and learning how to focus on my strengths as I tackle new challenges like creating a website, a blog, tweeting and a host of other technological tests I never thought I would be involved in.

To get through it, I combat my frustration by reminding myself of the strengths I rely on in other situations and finding ways to apply it to the current situation. By doing this I go from focusing on my weaknesses and negative emotions, to seeing my skills and abilities. From weakness to strength, negative emotion, to awareness of possibilities…can’t you almost feel that energy shift just by reading those words?

Reminding ourselves of successes we have had is not just an ego boost, its a problem solving tool. If I can clearly identify specific skills I have used to help me achieve things in the past, then I can create a plan of action based on applying those same skills, in a new situation.

So instead of jotting down a to do list next time, jot down a strengths list and keep it handy. Next time you are stuck, go down your list and see what tools you have at your disposal and how you can apply them to get out of your current problem. Do some brainstorming and creative thinking to find ways to work with the strengths YOU KNOW YOU HAVE. They are there, you just need to draw on them!

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